Livin’ a conscious life

Wonderful man you are dear Uncle. I refuse to speak of you in past tense because i know you are here and very much alive, just not physically. I was almost born in your home, lol and you never stopped telling me that. Then you gave me a local name that meant “princess” you were easy going and had a life of your own, you refused to conform to societal expectations and did you own thing. Your deep intelligence, your refusal to tolerate mediocrity in any form or shape - true intellect you are. May your soul rest in peace. Yesterday at your funeral service, all people talked about was your hard work and dedication to lecturing the children of this nation. you were a proud university professor, passionate about what you did and worked relentlessly towards educating our people. You fought for what you felt was going to be build our country and develop it.

Beautiful soul, you have - Dear uncle. I remember looking forward to holidays because most of them we’d spend at yours, though it was a very long ride to get to yours, about 9 hours i think, by road… but i felt nothing during those trips because i knew i’d get to see you and you would spoil me and my siblings rotten. Chocolates, biscuits you name, you’d bring those home almost every evening. Your laughter really reflected your soul, lol, i can almost hear it, that loud laugh that is let out in little breaks, and you’d be trying to talk at the same time and then of course if it was a really good laugh you’d have tears rolling down your eyes. I can picture it now, lol, you sat on your couch in your living room or sat at the Olympiad bar, lol… awww

One of the few people i’d always be sure to write to whenever someone was traveling to your town… and you would always reply, don’t recall the contents very thoroughly but i know you would always encourage me to study hard at school and tell me the importance of school. I remember the letters would be written in black with a nice and fancy fountain pen… true intellect i tell you i remember your signature at the end of each letter, you signed your full name, always, which was rare for our people, since they all prefer fancy signatures that have little of no connection to their names, lol… including me, though mine does have my names in it, but in a rather discreet fashion.

True patriot - you are dear Uncle: And then talks about our beautiful home, you would always tell us how we have a beautiful nation was and how beautiful its people are and you would go and on about home. Of course us having been born in a foreign land, and being so young i felt little for my home because i knew little about it, i had never been. When we did return home in 96, with you and my family in the same flight all the way home… the joy you felt/showed was indescribable… you felt at home, you were proud to be here, very excited to speak our mother tongue and just be in the presence of your people, our people…
Your love for your country was manifested in the work you did, training young people to having a better future, to work hard, to never settle for anything less than the best, ofcourse some students didn’t like your rather forward nature with them, but you only did that because you truly cared and felt the only way they would learn best was by you being strict on them

You honesty, Uncle, lol… made you a truly unique being! You spoke you mind even at times when others would not due to fear or out of common politeness, you said what you felt and stood by it, am sure i witnessed a couple of people getting offended by your words, but you told what you felt and never held back, a quality that very few have and i truly admire in you. You never thought of the consequences of your words because you knew the very old cliche oh-so well “the truth shall set you free” and free you are today, in the presence of all those who your loved and laughing, lol, that laugh

I am sorry i never made an effort to get to know you better once we returned home, school, growing up, working and just dealing with daily life’s issues could be excuses i could come up with but that would not be the whole truth. Effort was what i lacked, i made no effort to visit you, or call you atleast once, even when you fell ill, (God forgive me, please) i didn’t visit and i ask for you apologies. I am truly sorry and i know my lesson is somewhere in this experience and i am all open hands to receive it. Please forgive me. I am very sorry.

You are my hero, uncle, you really are. I take with me you love for books, your love for intellectual growth, your honesty, your love for helping others, your love for education, your being selfless, your big heart and your love for children

May your soul rest in eternal peace and you will always have a VERY special place in my heart. I know i will see you one day but for now, you are here, i know - just not physically!

I LOVE YOU, UNCLE!

PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON!

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a season, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank everyone for being a part of your life, as I do, whether they were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

A close close friend of mine lost her dad few days ago…

Dear M,

I know there’s nothing that can be said to make you feel better about your loss, but i know you are a true believer and you that God always has a plan for all of us, death is something that we will all have to face at some point, so girl, please stay strong and be there for your younger ones, they need you most right now and if you stay strong they will do the same, you need to show your mum strength too…I have you and your family in my prayers!

Much love xx

Am listening to Tevin Campbell’s ‘always in my heart’ awwww….it brings sooooo many memories as far back as 95 or 96….imagine! It’s such a beautiful song!
Anyhooo, i have been MIA i know, its work and some laziness…but mainly work past few weeks have been exhausting but this week is kind of slow hence why am droping by. Meanwhile, lol all this explanation now for why for? LOL
I’ve been very sawa…got some time off work for 10 days next month and am looking to travel if all stays as planned. Meanwhile, the weather here is insane…summer seems to be very here…and this is a country that’s hot all year round so basically it’s very hot! Got few friends in town on holiday…! Ohhh, i got to meet a long time buddy of mine, ya know who u b…wow, it’s been what? 10 yrs? imagine!!! So yah, it was REALLY nice hanging out and catching up on old times and stuff, although u really didn’t do AS much much on the catching up section, it was me, me, me….goosh, lastnite i was thinking how i was doing all the talking and that’s not nice! LOL….so next time we meet which should be in august if plans don’t change, spotlight will be on u…innit yeah?
Whatelse? Le diet goes on…am 64kgs at ze mo…yipeee….5 more kgs to get my target weight of 59…just like back in the day…so am bringing sexy back big time!!LOL
Ehhmmmm… what else?? Ohhh yeah, am turning 22 in a few weeks time, quite scary i tell ya, mais si it’s growing up? And i hear 22 us the year of confusion!! Like for real, u could make up some screwed up choices and decisions that umm could possibly ruin u, if u don’t have URSELF in place, LOL….the hell am i saying, but yeah point is it’s a messed up year, so its to be extremely careful!
Yearrhhhh, so there’s basically this mad stupid as hell ass kid who thinks she’s the ishhh who’s trying to get all up in my bizz, i mean am generally polite and accomodating, but she’s fuckin pushed the line, in such cases what i do is hit delete on every single u iz, so fairway child! Go merry go round someone else…so yah, that’s about it really, am out!

Yes indeed it’s been 10 days since i last blogged…i’ve been uhmmm up to so much and yeah not up to much if u know what i mean…! I went out of town the weekend with the girls and my boo happened to be in that town for work..so that meant i get to do 2 things i love at once….hang out with les filles and with mon amour. It was a mega ballistic time over there…i only slept well on the first night. We went by coach and the ride was fun just that it was pretty late and the road has tooo too many turns…but i had good conversation with the people…and it really was fun. The next day was the big party day…which was really nice, left le bash and went to a local club with the boo - danced danced danced….i was very happy and i think i looked fab in my new fcuk top that is sooo funkified! lol…ofcourse getting back to work monday morning after so much rave wasn’t my cup of tea but yea i had to and somehow…i’ve made it so far…it’s thursday already…!! u know what that means? it means tommorow is friday which means….yup u guessed right, it means its the weekend…! *jumping up and down* inside since am at work and doing that would uhhm seem odd.
So let’s see…a run through few things that have been going on my la vie a moi… uhmm, basically the ‘twist and shape’ machine at home got broken, i think we were using it the wrong way, we were just stepping and not twisting sideways if that makes sense…so anyhow it broke which meant farewell to my 6:00am 30mins workout each morning before work! grrrhh…this obviously deboosted my morale for work…but then i still ate healthy and all….just that on monday i went for some grilled nyama in NY with me boo…which was yum, i had that with some chapo…and yesterday (wednesday) i was craving badly for something ta munch on…(btw, the fridge at home never has any junk in it…which i guess is a gr8 advantage of living with the family)…so i called my sis who was still in town and asked her to buy some pringles and when she arrives she brought what loooked like her dinner left overs…a very small portion of chips and a cheese and ham sammug! lol (sandwich i.e) which i ate kabisa! and didn’t feel bad about…and ohh yeah….now that american idol is over guess guess guess what is showing wednesdays @ 7pm???? THE APPRENTICE (martha stewart) yipeeeeeeeee…..i was overjoyed when i saw it on TV last night….i watched the very first episode uninterrupted…it was yummmmy! and i really had a great time…can’t wait for next wednesday….wohoooo!!!! Uhmmm…also i met my girl R yesterday after work, she’s applying for a job and fingers crossed she’ll be selected! It’d be just perfect! Let’s see what else? Yeah, so i am looking to move back into my original room this weekend…the wardrobe is sorted, the bed is ready, just need to get the little shoe rack thing and also sort out the paint and all that ish, but i guess that can be done after i’ve moved because at this rate waiting for the rooom to be perfectly ready for me might take till uhmmm december. Yeah, so that’s exciting.
Work — has been a bit slow since i finished working on the report my boss asked me to prepare…i am yet to get feedback from him and also i am waiting to get instructions on my new responsibilities which he claims will be more challenging…which is ofcourse what i requested, though am a bit scared my request might have been a bit too ambitious of me, but deep deep down, i know it’s a good thing, i have a good feeling about it…!
What else, uhmm, i got my invitation letter from me brov which means come june am starting the application…i really really hope it goes through!
Ok, this has been one heck of post, i should just make sure i blog more often and not after 10 days….i hope things are ok with my invisible readers…peace out!

I am feeling weird today, i am a bit better than i was an hour ago…bse i was actually crying…but man! I woke up feeling unhappy, i guess its something to do with me not going home yesterday but not entirely..had a fight with my buddy, i have just been down! Lawd, please give me strength to see the best in every situation, let me remain positive all the time and see that there’s always a reason for everything and also a lesson in everything that comes my way…i am feeling quite lost and bit out of place and out of touch with everything…! I need strength…i need guidance God, i need direction and peace of mind…i need everything to go in place….to get right….please Lawd, please!

N’uku kwesi imyaka icyumi n’ebyiri ishize ayo mahano yabaye! Mu minsi ijana gusa abantu barenze ibhumbi magana inani babuze ubuzima bwawo bazize ubwoko. Ubwoko batatonranye kugira, bitaturutse kubushake bwabo! Kuba umututsi byari icyaha yo wakicya…uziri ubututsi… uzira ibyo bavukanya bitari ibyo wihitiyemo… n’uko, abagabo, abagore, abasore, inkumi, abangavu, abana hamwe n’imhinja n’abari bakiri munda barishwe. Biskwe nabaturanyi, inshuti, abo basengerenaga hamwe, abo basangiranaga…ni bo bahindukiye bara batema. Barabicya ngaho batari abandi. Babikisha imihoro…barabatema, bafata abana n’abagore kungufu maze bakubita imphija kunzo, basatura inda z’abaribatwite. N’uko ako n’akaga k’urwanda. N’uko byagenje. Imana yirirwa ahandi igataha irwanda ariko muri Mata icyenda nakane Imana yari he?
Ibintu byabaye mugihugu cyacu ntabwo bigomba kwibarigina!! Tugomba guhoza abo bantu kumitima yacu burigihe, tukabasengera hamwe n’abo basize iyoma, impfubyi n’abapfakazi kugirango Imana izo bahoze imiti ibahe ubuzima bwenda gusa nku’ubwo bari bafite, abafite ubushobozi babafashe uko bashoye kose. Abotwapfushije nabo imana ikomeze kubaha ibiruhoko bidashira. Tuzakomeze tubibuka kandi mwagiye tubakunda kandi tubakeneye. N’aho abo batemye Imana iza beze imitima yabo, izababarire!
Mata 1994…iminsi ijana…ubuzima burenze 800,000 twabuze! Imana igume Irwanda, igumana n’abana bayo kandi ihe abotwabuze ibiruhuko bidashira.
TWESE TWIBUKE!