On flow.er po.wer… stoppi.ng tho.ught… enlightment
Peace, serenity, clarity, purity of thought, water, colours, flowers, detox, nature, animals, breeze, rainfall, ocean, wood, trees, lol…. these all define my state of mind… the things that occupy my stream of thoughts. A new year is here, to me its pretty much such a symbol and alot of fuss. As a new-yearly tradition, like most, i like to think through the past year and give plenty thanks for what most would see as failures and of course successes! I haven’t done that consciously yet, but thats because i’ve been planning to do so on here 
In 08, i had plenty radical moments in the sense that i thought about leaving my job and joining an org that would give me alot more challenging work and start off with a technical job as opposed to here where i started off as more admin and basic work but do get to do plenty technical work though that’s not my primary pre-occupation. I thought about going to grad school to do an MB.A and was really convinced about that, atleast thats what i thought until i looked a little deeper and realised it wasn’t coming from the right source and therefore i couldn’t listen to it. Few highlights of the year include:
my si.s getting hitched…. ahh, a beautiful moment - i remember all the excitement around planning it, the ups, downs, the confusion, the emotions etc… specifically picking out her dress, choosing the wedding colours, decor, endless TSN wedding shows, reading and pretty much mastering the quadzillion wedding mags we had at home, ahhh it was bliss, know how much of a girly girl i can be, i loved it all and can’t wait to plan another wedding, either for a close friend or for myself, even then ofcourse something that i think will always stay in my heart is after all the frustration that was going on in the reception venue and ended up spending way too much time arranging bse i know how much the bride wanted the reception to be superbly decorated, so we went to church about 10 mins b4 the service was to start and the bride and groom had arrive and this was my first time seeing her in her gown all dressed and ready to take the deep plunge… and i suddenly burst out into tears, i got so emotional and till this day still do whenever i think about it! The wedd.ing went REALLY REALLY well, ofcourse i loooked fi.re hot and so did the reception and everyone else, it was very well organised and wow, just super. I was too busy running up and down checking w/ the caterers, dj, ensuring people are well attended to but towards the end, i got to sit and enjoy! The bride and groom were sooooo thankful and said they couldn’t have asked for a better day! They loved it. My one was extremely useful and supportive that day and wow, he’s a good one, not that i wasn’t already aware, but that re-assured me!
Trip down to the A.tizzle to check on my oldie was good, very quiet and peaceful time… enjoy the serenity and the whole being in a different country and having not a worry in the world, i got to re-bond w/ him and loved it. He’s a good man, i love him.
Me and my one sort of re-becoming us, this started towards the end of the year, we stopped having endless arguments and resumed simply loving, phewww… we had a rough time at the beginning but we pulled through, nevertheless. I strongly believe we are love, we redefine friendship and soulful bonding. I love him w/ all the love i have.
At.kns doing me right and showing me a me, i’d not imagined i could be, wow… hail proteins and to.the.lef.t carbs! Seriously, though post-we.dding i went back to re-carbing and sort off went down hill up until now, lol… meaning i have resumed being carb-free and simply breathing and laying back
The big V idea came up this year and i have a strong feeling about its roll out in mid-09, i really do. Right now, i am doing plenty background research work and assessing the need for it and getting ready for the big plunge!
This year pretty much felt like a taking-a-step-back year for me, i didn’t want to rush things and felt the strong need to just be me and do only what feels right in my soul - i kicked pe.erpre.ssure to the curb and haven’t looked back, when i feel like hanging or doing things that involve others i do, when i don’t, i simply don’t. I sort of got a revelation to be comfy with me as i am, i now understand that people need to take you as you are regardless of your similarities or the lack.
I did an immense spiritual leap and its all gotten clearer to me than it ever has, i listened to plenty PD and read alot. Yes, reading is another thing that was a good step this year, i got back into the habit and read a pile of books on a variety of topics, ofcourse, some were memorable, others weren’t. In the beginning, they had an impact on me and got me slightly too indulged in the sense that i was trying to relate a bit too much to the characters and see things through their eyes, lol… but i regained my balance and became a bit picky about what i read. Looking out mostly for uplifting books, biographies and plain chilled out books, lol.
Workwise, things definately improved this year, i got to do plenty plenty technical work and love it. My boss remains truly an inspiration and i am thankful for working for him. I am still a bit put off by the fact that the impact of our work is still not very visible, i think i just want the process to move faster. I don’t know, i just wish i could see results directly - but it all comes down to life in the sou.th always being dependent on funds from western donors… grrhh and spending hours and hours doing reporting, proposals and silly things when alot more constructive work could be done implementing! Anyhow.
Friends - i met an amazing man and his wife in 08, they came to work w/ us for 6 months, for starters i just want to note how much he wanted alot of info b4 their arrival, he scheduled weekly calls w/ us asking for details on evrything possible, i liked that, though it was tiring, it definately was a good habit. Then, ofcourse he was the one to work with us, but he brought his wife w/ him! that to me was so cute. He was super smart and we had a number of chats together and he was encouraging me to move on from my job, get something more challenging, because am young and was really smart and could do so much better, he and his wife left such a huge mark in my life and i will forever be grateful to them. They were wonderful and simply good people. Loved it.
Me becoming aunt is another highlight of the year, i will always remember the feeling that went through me when sis told me she was expecting, such a beautiful thing, really is.
Growing w/ my mum and seeing the best in her is another blessing of 08, i have learnt to accept her as she is and accept that we don’t always have to agree on things and i don’t always have to air out my feelings, i just accept whatever she says and don’t have to necessarily say i disagree, just be cool. She’s fab and just like everyone is work in progress, i just need to see her as human and not superwoman!
Generosity - i did get a huge chance to show my generousity and when it came, i recognised it and did what i would normally first complain about and overanalyse. I gave.
Major thing i have learnt is to surrender. Let nature/universe/God handle things. I also learnt the beauty that is stopp.ing thought and the peace it arises, whenever i catch my thoughts straying and being ruled by fear (which to me means, judgement, jealousy any form of threat) i stop it. This has been amazing and is something i’d like to master in 09. I also learnt more about love and how love really is key and the solution to many problems! LOVE< LOVE Overall, 08 was magical… it got me me and alot more. I loved it and am so thankful for all it brought my way and to still be here, healthy and able to do the things that i want to.
